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Thank you everyone who answered the roll call. Although I did not quite reach the 30+ comments that M.Kate and GKnee have achieved recently, 28 was not too far off. (Not that this is some kind of competition or anything). And as an added bonus, I learned a lot about the saran-wrapping incident. Near as I can figure, based on the responses, here is what happened last Saturday evening:
1) The birthday party for Dana ends at around 8:15 PM. Very early compared to the late-night party the night before, but commendable since everyone obviously wanted to get home early so as to be well-rested for church on Sunday.
2) Abby, out of the kindness of her heart, decides to return the balloons that Eric and I helped inflate for the party earlier that day. So she drives over to our place, opens Eric's minivan with the key she posesses, and returns many of the balloons to the vehicle. (I'm not sure why she did not also return the streamers we helped hang up... perhaps because of #3).
3) Meanwhile, while she is placing the balloons in Eric's vehicle, she is scared off by another vehicle pulling in the driveway and hurries away, forgetting to lock the door.
4) Inside this vehicle is a group of guys coming from playing pool at the Union. Their plan all evening was to saran-wrap Eric's Noni-van and my car, as evidenced by Lee's "forgetting" to call me and Eric to invite us to play pool. An added bonus was that they found Eric's vehicle unlocked and could saran-wrap the inside.

I would like to thank all of the commenters for helping to clarify the events of the evening. I apologize profusely from the bottom of my heart for falsely accusing the ladies. And I feel horrible about the "electronic tissue" comment. How insensitive of me.